How to Deal With Catty Co-workers - The Muse

How to Deal With Catty Co-workers - The MuseHow to Deal With Catty Co-workers Second to having a terrible boss is having terrible co-workers. It makes going into your job day in and day out unappealing at best, anxiety-inducing at worst. But what about co-workers that you neither love nor hate but whom you find unpleasant for other reasons?Condescending co-workers are brutal, but catty ones arent much better. Their vicious or spiteful comments make you cringe and you wonder how no one else has elendiced how obnoxious these people are. If youre lucky, you dont have to work with these people regularly. Your interactions may be few and far between, but, nonetheless, when someone rubs you the wrong way, it can be hard to get past it. That one time you hear one of your colleagues say something insulting about another co-workers outfit is the moment that you stop seeing that rolle as a whole, imperfect human being who misspoke. Now all you see is a unhappy, one-dimensional person whos obvi ously so insecure that shes taken to criticizing someone elses choice of clothing. If you know for a fact that the offending party is really, truly hateful, and a lost cause, theres not much you can do besides avoid the mean person. Of course, if the behavior is unarguably egregious, you may want to find a way to speak to someone higher up at the company whos better equipped to handle it. This doesnt make you a tattle-tale. If the situation is toxic and you think someone will listen, you should seek that person out.But, if your catty co-workers are simply that and are fruchtwein likely harmless apart from a few inappropriate comments or insults, theres a way you can deal with it without driving yourself mad thats always worked wonders for me. What I like to do is start with a look. I call it the raised eyebrow. Know what Im talking about? When someone says something unbecoming about someone else, either to me or within my earshot, I fix him with a look that says, You did not serious ly just say that? without actually saying anything aloud. I do that and walk away, and Im telling you, I have a 99% success rate of making my point without ever opening my mouth. I started doing this because like a lot of you, I wasnt comfortable speaking up in the face of cattiness. Even now, Im still not great at it. I worry what the other person will think. Im concerned about seeming like a goody-two-shoes. And, sometimes, Im honestly happier avoiding conflict and workplace drama. And so, the easier, albeit less courageous move is silently expressing my discomfort.But, by all means, if youve had it up to here and are comfortable vocalizing your dismay, go for it. Lets say Donald and Leah are chatting over a cup of coffee in the kitchen when you walk in to get some water and happen to overhear Donald say, Yeah, Jason could do so much better. Hes so out of her league. Leah responds, Totally, shes not even that pretty.Jason is another co-worker, and youre pretty sure theyre talking about his fianc, who you all just met at the company happy hour. Youre so appalled that you stop in your tracks, turn to the offending speakers, and say, Im sure you didnt mean for me to hear that, and, truthfully, I wish I hadnt either. Its not nice.You can say this without assuming a position of authority or place on a pedestal youre speaking up because youre a compassionate person and you know those kinds of remarks have no place in your office. If you receive an apology, accept it and move on. You dont need to deliver a diatribe (have you never, ever said something about someone else that you know you shouldnt have?). More often than not (hopefully), your co-workers are only guilty of occasional cattiness. Give them the chance to show you that its not their M.O. And as for you? The next time your own insecurity creeps in, threatening to have you opening your mouth and saying something regrettable, think again. Being known as the catty person in the office whos best avoided is no t a reputation you want. Photo of catty co-workers courtesy of Martin Barraud/Getty Images.